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Apr 18, 2013 sarah gilbert rated it it was amazing

I grew up in a household where the Bible was read to us, chapter by chapter, at dinner every night. I earned prizes for memorizing whole passages (like ice cream) at church camp, so my knowledge of the Bible is pretty darn good. Mark Russell's book, still, continued to surprise me. "God did that? Really?" I said, over and over again.

Nowhere is the changing nature of the Christian idea of God more evident than in these smart, witty, slimmed-down versions of the Bible's canonical books. It's more

Nowhere is the changing nature of the Christian idea of God more evident than in these smart, witty, slimmed-down versions of the Bible's canonical books. It's more than a summary, though; it's an encapsulation, a quintessence of the Bible. It's the way to truly get beyond the dense language and the lists and endless rule-making and see through to the soul of the book.

It's hard to get through this with a faith in the infallibility of the Bible intact, but you won't go away empty-handed, as you'll have a comprehensive education in the text on which so much of our culture is based. And you'll have fun!

Spoiler: in the end, there is an apocalypse, and horsemen, and a terrible beast, and the world ends. Sorry.

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Jan 05, 2016 Becky rated it really liked it

A couple of prefaces:
1) I haven't read the Bible.
2) I'm not religious.

Now that that's out of the way, we can get down to the good stuff. I picked this book up from Audible because I got a kick out of the title and the sample sounded hilarious. And it was hilarious... at least the first half.

A couple of prefaces:
1) I haven't read the Bible.
2) I'm not religious.

The first half had me giggling like I'd just huffed paint or something. The intro to the book describes the Bible as being like a hotdog - you don't know what's inside, but you swallow it anyway. And that just seemed so apt to me. I fully acknowledge that I'm one of those ignorant people who have no idea what's in the Bible... though in this metaphor, I'm vegetarian. I don't follow the Bible's teachings or subscribe to the religion. I just try to be a decent person. Mostly.

So... All of that is to let you know that I am not at all qualified to discuss accuracy of the paraphrasing of the contents from the Bible to GIDIY. I have no idea whether they are accurately represented, though if pressed, I would lean toward the "probably not" side, because taking an entire book of the Bible and condensing it down to a 2-page summary, while including irreverent humor and dick jokes, takes a lot of interpretational liberties.

That being said, of course I enjoyed it for what it was to me. A hilarious liberty-taking summary of each book of the Bible, complete with irreverent humor and dick jokes. I didn't realize that the print version of this book came with comics, which I bet would have been even more hilarious. In fact, for the first half of the book, I was pretty much convinced that I would want to buy the print edition because it was funny and the comic illustrations would probably add a lot.

The first half of the book describes the Old Testament and it's really great. Everything is new and fresh and interesting and hilarious and linear. The second half of the book describes the New Testament and that's where it kind of fell off for me. The New Testament was super repetitive and kinda boring. Where once we had floods and sacrifices and demolition of sinful towns and the destruction of idols... we now have a whole lot of wandering and forgiveness and 'love thy neighbor' - and repeatedly assuring new Christians that they don't need to circumcise. Because priorities.

Now, I'm not saying that as a life-goal, destruction of others' beliefs should take precedent over love and forgiveness... but as far as story plot-lines go, the former definitely trumps the latter. In fact, I actually forgot that this was a book by book breakdown of the Bible, and just got caught up in the story of the Old Testament. But once we hit the NEW Testament, it just got weird. It rehashed Jesus' life several times in succession, and each one focused on things from a different perspective, and I was like "Didn't we just listen to this? ...Oh, this one is making a big deal about the foot washing, and the last one made a big deal about the loaves and fishes. I guess that's different." I had forgotten that the goal was to boil each book of the Bible down to its essence individually, and once I reminded myself of that, all was OK again and I could follow along contentedly, but it just never quite felt the same. The Old Testament works well as a book, a story, a narrative whole. The New felt like a bunch of guys who were all called to the police precinct and interviewed separately. They tell basically the same story, but with different details.

If I had one actual complaint about this book, though, it would be the reader - or maybe whoever was responsible for equalizing the volume of the recording. I actually LIKED the reader a lot, and thought that he did a great job... but there were huge differences in the volume of the recording from one minute to the next, especially in the New Testament half. One minute, he would be loud and boisterous and the next he'd be talking quietly, as though in a conspiratorial whisper. I was constantly having to turn up the volume to hear those bits, and then seconds later frantically having to lower it again to save my hearing when it went back to the loudness. This was very aggravating.

Overall, I really did enjoy the book, though I wonder how much my enjoyment would have changed had I been familiar with the source material. One day I will read it myself, and then maybe revisit this to see how much I agree or disagree with the condensed version.

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May 26, 2013 Dena Guzman rated it it was amazing

What do I think? I think this is book is genius. It's softer than I guess I expected it to be. It's sharp and funny, but there is something so soft. I never read a soft Bible before. The illustrations and humor together caused me to linger over some of these pages for such a long time that I would fall asleep. That's, in this case, a good thing. It was nearly meditative to read this- it was like taking hilarious Xanax. The Bible is a damn good story, really, and it's told here by Russell and Whe What do I think? I think this is book is genius. It's softer than I guess I expected it to be. It's sharp and funny, but there is something so soft. I never read a soft Bible before. The illustrations and humor together caused me to linger over some of these pages for such a long time that I would fall asleep. That's, in this case, a good thing. It was nearly meditative to read this- it was like taking hilarious Xanax. The Bible is a damn good story, really, and it's told here by Russell and Wheeler in such a away that if there is a God, they have earned a place on a puffy little cloud up in Her Kingdom, forever and ever, amen. ...more

God Is Disappointed in You is a shortened and comedic re-writing of the entire Bible. Yup. You read that correctly.

It's ok to be wrong once in a while. How stupid you look when you're wrong is directly proportional to how certain you were right. A wise man will always consider the possibility that he's wrong and he will welcome a second opinion. Only an asshole thinks his first guess is right every time.
-pg 89

I am the granddaughter of a Protestant minister but I was baptized and raised Catholic

God Is Disappointed in You is a shortened and comedic re-writing of the entire Bible. Yup. You read that correctly.

It's ok to be wrong once in a while. How stupid you look when you're wrong is directly proportional to how certain you were right. A wise man will always consider the possibility that he's wrong and he will welcome a second opinion. Only an asshole thinks his first guess is right every time.
-pg 89

I am the granddaughter of a Protestant minister but I was baptized and raised Catholic. My mom used to read Bible stories to me as bedtime stories. I have read bits and pieces of the Bible (never the entire Book) without being prompted. Also, my favorite Book of the Bible is the Book of Ruth.

With that being said, I really only have a small bit of familiarity with the Bible. Which made reading God is Disappointed in You a hoot, lol. Russell's writing paired with Wheeler's drawings really turns God Is Disappointed in You into a real conversation starter. When you add in the amazing work done with the print version it morphs into a (slightly controversial) coffee table book.

"A few hardscrabble pioneers can make a go of it in a lawless wasteland, but if you want the artists, priests, and scribes to come, then you need a wall to protect them. And those are the people who create your culture, write your history. It might be construction works who build your nation, but it's the nerds who make it a civilization."
-pg 76

The author's notes state that none of the content was fabricated, it was just re-written. Russell says that his motivation for writing this book was his desire to make the Bible more accessible. While working on this project, however, Russell states how surprised he was by what he found:

How many dark, hilarious, or truly profound passages the Bible contained that I was never taught, probably because all anyone really wanted me to learn was how to sit quietly, eat my carrots, and feel guilty.
- pg 1

All in all, God is Disappointed in You was very funny and interesting. A solid conversation starter as well. The only issues I had was that - like the Bible - God is Disappointed in You is hard to read straight through. And the joke started to wear thin as I tried to force my way to the end. I do recommend this book with the caution that the overly religious may find it to be offensive.

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Jul 06, 2017 Iving rated it liked it

3.5/5

This was funneh. There was only one time, if I remember correctly, where I think the line between irreverent and disrespectful was crossed, and I definitely didn't laugh at that. But 80% of the time it was indeed very funny. Not recommended to easily offended Christians though.

3.5/5

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Oct 29, 2017 Michael Ferro rated it it was amazing

Hilarious, insightful, and judiciously filtered for our modern times, the Bible is finally able to be read in a way that not only entertains, but enlightens, with Mark Russell's GOD IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. Infamously notorious for being a bore and intimidatingly arcane, many over the ages have prayed for a, well, "Cliff Notes" version of the Bible with perhaps some jokes thrown in—this book fills that gap. Whether or not you've read the actual Bible—and I have not—this delightful volume will giv Hilarious, insightful, and judiciously filtered for our modern times, the Bible is finally able to be read in a way that not only entertains, but enlightens, with Mark Russell's GOD IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. Infamously notorious for being a bore and intimidatingly arcane, many over the ages have prayed for a, well, "Cliff Notes" version of the Bible with perhaps some jokes thrown in—this book fills that gap. Whether or not you've read the actual Bible—and I have not—this delightful volume will give you an accurate, funny, and at times, downright shocking look at the most popular book of all time. ...more

Mark's grasp of the Bible is not that of a theologian or minister, nor are his snarky observations that of a nonbeliever. He is not even interpreting the Bible; he is merely condensing it. And it is hilarious.

I was often startled to find out that all of the wacky stories retold in God is Disappointed in You are really in the Bible! And I was always amused.

(I'm fortunate enough to have read this in workshop.)

I was often startled to find out that all of the wacky stories retold in God is Disappointed in You are really in the Bible! And I was always amused.

(I'm fortunate enough to have read this in workshop.)

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If you are open to a different reading of the Bible and perhaps learning some new things about what the stories in the Bible tell I think you would enjoy this book. I do think the audio book is a better choice because you get the writer's vocal inflection on what he wrote and thinks. Recommended If you are open to a different reading of the Bible and perhaps learning some new things about what the stories in the Bible tell I think you would enjoy this book. I do think the audio book is a better choice because you get the writer's vocal inflection on what he wrote and thinks. Recommended ...more

I died. I really died! This is hilarious! It's a summary of the books in the bible. Like sparknotes with snark. xD

Though it might be a little irreverent for Christians.

I died. I really died! This is hilarious! It's a summary of the books in the bible. Like sparknotes with snark. xD

Though it might be a little irreverent for Christians.

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Aug 20, 2013 Killian rated it it was amazing

"What do we call it?" After a few abortive suggestions, all of which I'm glad we turned down, we started to focus in on "God is Disappointed in You," which is the perfect title for this book, because if I had to condense the entire Bible down to a single phrase, that would be it.

God is Disappointed in You took me significantly longer to read than I had initially assumed. The Bible can be quite dull subject matter, especially for a non-Christian. That being said, I truly did enjoy this book. Religion can be such a serious, touchy subject for many people, so I don't know that this book is for everyone, as I can see the more devout being offended at the language and seemingly lackadaisical attitude expressed towards one of the worlds most "holy" of books.

Most of the Old Testament is about land battles and genealogies (or as Russell states, God's attempt at scrap-booking) and God smiting or promising to smite people. And there is a reason that a lot of Christians (at least the ones that I personally know) have never actually read the entire Bible. It's dull. I think Leviticus is my favorite example of this, but Russell was able to even make that chapter interesting to me.

God is Disappointed in You's setup is basically that each chapter of the Bible has a corresponding chapter in there. They are not always just straight prose either. For example, Psalms was written in the form of a "Greatest Hits" album, several books followed the form of emails or memos, Habakkuk was a Q&A, Hebrews was in FAQ form, etc. Having read the majority of the Old Testament, I can speak to the veracity of that particular section, and the humor that Russell brought to it was very amusing.

I also learned several things I didn't know before. Like, for example, how Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are all the same damn story just told by different people. No author today could get away with that kind of repetition. Russell tired to make them each individually interesting, but you can read the same story only so many times before you get tired of it. And the rest of the New Testament, with the exception of Revelations, is basically just a bunch of letters from apostles. So there's that.

TLDR: Loved this irreverent view of the Bible, and I will actually be buying this book as soon as I get done with this review. Yes, I loved it that much.

ARC courtesy of Top Shelf Productions, via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

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Jan 08, 2018 Allysia K rated it really liked it

I loved this book! If you've ever wanted to read a humorous and condensed version of the Bible, this is the one.

To give you a sense of what I mean, here's a quote from the book (regarding a bunch of Old Testament laws):

I loved this book! If you've ever wanted to read a humorous and condensed version of the Bible, this is the one.

To give you a sense of what I mean, here's a quote from the book (regarding a bunch of Old Testament laws):

"If you have a mildew problem, you have to burn your clothes and blankets. If you have a wet dream, you have to take a bath. If you have a pus-filled sore, take a bath and then burn your clothes. If someone gets a skin disease, make him take a bath and shave off all his hair. If a man with eczema spits on you, you have to take a bath and burn all your clothes. If we can't be the holiest people of all time, we'll damn well be the cleanest."

As someone who grew up Catholic, this seems like a pretty accurate (and blunt) retelling, and was far more fun to read than the giant tome that is the Bible.

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Aug 19, 2017 Robert Gustavo rated it really liked it

I was raised in a completely non-religious household. Growing up, I learned of Christianity through the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar", and only got into that because Ian Gillan of Deep Purple was Jesus in the original recording, and I was vaguely aware that there were some differences from the generally accepted story (I was pretty sure Judas didn't come down from heaven to sing the closing number flanked by foxy angels in the book, and was generally not regarded as favorably as in the musica I was raised in a completely non-religious household. Growing up, I learned of Christianity through the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar", and only got into that because Ian Gillan of Deep Purple was Jesus in the original recording, and I was vaguely aware that there were some differences from the generally accepted story (I was pretty sure Judas didn't come down from heaven to sing the closing number flanked by foxy angels in the book, and was generally not regarded as favorably as in the musical).

Later I would add the Woody Guthrie song "Jesus Christ" to my biblical education, but I would sometimes mix up the lyrics from "Jesse James", since they have the same tune, and get confused.

Jesus Christ was a man, a carpenter by trade,
He robbed the Glendale Train
The people, they did say, for many miles away,
It was robbed by Frank and Jesse James.

Again, not the commonly accepted story (although, didn't the Mormons have Jesus running around the Wild West? So, maybe?)

I tried to read the Bible, because it is culturally important, and so many Johnny Cash songs reference it, but could never get past the language, or all the begetting.

This slim little volume, however, was entirely doable. It's condensed, to the point where it might be leaving things out that aren't just begetting, but it was entirely doable. The four gospels probably could have benefitted from a little bit more space -- they blend together a bit here, where I think they are meant to be more like "Roshomon", with four very distinct views of the same events. And Paul... well, he could have been trimmed a bit more. And the Old Testament rambles a bit.

But, it was all very readable, enjoyable and short. It also doesn't read as mean-spirited in any way. So a quick, basic framework.

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Feb 09, 2014 Erikka rated it really liked it

This book is great for anyone (like me) who labels the Bible as TL:DR. It does a great job of taking the point of each book and summarizing it into a neat little 2-3 page humorous essay. I learned more about the roots and basis of the Christian and Jewish faiths through this than I did in my five years of brainwashed church attendance. I also learned that the church I went to (an Apostolic church) basically picked and chose what it wanted to teach (which I already knew) even though other passage This book is great for anyone (like me) who labels the Bible as TL:DR. It does a great job of taking the point of each book and summarizing it into a neat little 2-3 page humorous essay. I learned more about the roots and basis of the Christian and Jewish faiths through this than I did in my five years of brainwashed church attendance. I also learned that the church I went to (an Apostolic church) basically picked and chose what it wanted to teach (which I already knew) even though other passages prove their beliefs blatantly false (some of which I didn't know). I also thought the little cartoons were cute and that the frequent change of formats (Q&A, letters, prose-style, etc) kept it from becoming dry. The only people I think would dislike this book are overly stuffy and stern Christians (those who need a stickassectomy), people who have zero interest in faith at all (because I'd read a version of any religion's holy text if it was written like this), and people who have an issue with swearing (all four of you). ...more

Having gone to a Catholic School for eight years I was pretty sure that a) they weren't very good at teaching religion and b) I didn't remember what they taught. Reading this book I was quite shocked to discover that I knew the bible pretty well, in fact well enough that the gaps started becoming apparent from the condensing of the text. In fact the streamlining worked against the book in that the New Testament in particular became overly repetitive when I had actually been looking forward to th Having gone to a Catholic School for eight years I was pretty sure that a) they weren't very good at teaching religion and b) I didn't remember what they taught. Reading this book I was quite shocked to discover that I knew the bible pretty well, in fact well enough that the gaps started becoming apparent from the condensing of the text. In fact the streamlining worked against the book in that the New Testament in particular became overly repetitive when I had actually been looking forward to that section as having more of a through-line narrative with Jesus. If you are looking for a humorous interpretation of the Bible, watch Monty Python's The Life of Brian or any Eddie Izzard. And if you know anything about the bible perhaps skip this all together because omissions and the author own interpretations will drive you batty. If on the other hand you're just trying to get a general feel for the bible, then this book might be for you.

The Last Word: "Snakes"

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I simply could not finish this book. I made it into the prophets, and that was far enough. I expected this condensation to be snarky & irreverently humorous. I did not expect it to be full of potty humor & disrespect. I am an atheist. I have no problem with criticism of the bible and even enjoy a bit of humor & snarkiness at the expense of Christians & the supposedly holy passages. On the other hand, I think calling bible characters "dicks" is over the top, inflammatory, and completely without p I simply could not finish this book. I made it into the prophets, and that was far enough. I expected this condensation to be snarky & irreverently humorous. I did not expect it to be full of potty humor & disrespect. I am an atheist. I have no problem with criticism of the bible and even enjoy a bit of humor & snarkiness at the expense of Christians & the supposedly holy passages. On the other hand, I think calling bible characters "dicks" is over the top, inflammatory, and completely without purpose other than the shock value. I prefer to criticize with intellect & reason. If you don't mind the humor of a 13yo, then you may enjoy this synopsis. If, however, you find name-calling offensive or immature, this is not the read for you. ...more

I have read the Bible. That was many years of "verses" of curses where I thought God was omnipotent and I was schizophrenic. As I read Mark Russell's version, I still think God is out to get me, but he may not smite me. However if I he does smite me, I will be smote as I am laughing my ass off with a copy of "God Is Disappointed In You" in my hands. I can't think of a better way to go. I have read the Bible. That was many years of "verses" of curses where I thought God was omnipotent and I was schizophrenic. As I read Mark Russell's version, I still think God is out to get me, but he may not smite me. However if I he does smite me, I will be smote as I am laughing my ass off with a copy of "God Is Disappointed In You" in my hands. I can't think of a better way to go. ...more

Jul 17, 2017 Allan rated it it was ok

A quick audio read that was funny and informative in parts, but repetitive in its style of satire in others - bought as an Audible daily deal, so no great loss, but one that won't live long in the memory for me. A quick audio read that was funny and informative in parts, but repetitive in its style of satire in others - bought as an Audible daily deal, so no great loss, but one that won't live long in the memory for me. ...more

Witty and irreverent. He does a really good job condensing a book that is widely contradictory, really dry through most of the old testament, and just plain non-sesnsical in lots of places.

I found this humorous and insightful. There were a few times in the early chapters that had me laughing pretty hard. I felt Mark did a really good job for the most part with walking the line between irreverent and disrespectful. I have never read the Bible, but this modern cliff notes version had me entertained, though less and less so as it went on.

May 02, 2021 Chantal Kloth rated it it was amazing

just tells the bible as it is — perfect for both christians and non-christians to read the bible in current layman's terms (which also tend to be quite funny)

Feb 02, 2022 Knute Snortum rated it did not like it

I am disappointed in Mark Russell. This book isn't what it purports to be: a summation of the scriptures to give you the big picture. It's is, in fact, satire, and not very good satire at that. The humor was sophomoric -- something I'd expect from a high school author. It isn't nearly as clever as it thinks it is. I understand that it's supposed to be irreverent, but it's just poorly done. I am disappointed in Mark Russell. This book isn't what it purports to be: a summation of the scriptures to give you the big picture. It's is, in fact, satire, and not very good satire at that. The humor was sophomoric -- something I'd expect from a high school author. It isn't nearly as clever as it thinks it is. I understand that it's supposed to be irreverent, but it's just poorly done. ...more

Jan 21, 2016 Wray F rated it really liked it

For the life of me, I can't imagine anyone reading through the Old Testament and the New and not coming away a non-believer. These books are so full of downright bizarre people and events, so full of mythology posing as "history", and so full of weird outcasts telling one how to live their life, that it's impossible to imagine the majority of the country falling into this nonsense and the rest of us having to listen to them. Clearly, the only parts of the Bible most people hear are the select li For the life of me, I can't imagine anyone reading through the Old Testament and the New and not coming away a non-believer. These books are so full of downright bizarre people and events, so full of mythology posing as "history", and so full of weird outcasts telling one how to live their life, that it's impossible to imagine the majority of the country falling into this nonsense and the rest of us having to listen to them. Clearly, the only parts of the Bible most people hear are the select little stories that the local pastor or priest can make into a tidy little lesson to send the parishioners away with a holier-than-thou smile on their face. GOD IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOU does a nice job of breaking down the books of the Bible into the paraphrased essence with a few sarcastic wise-cracks on the side. I mean, who really wants to go to the trouble of reading all the tedious minutia in those collections anyway? I've tried a few times during my life, but gave up in bored exasperation. This book has some humor to actually make these weird stories tolerable.
The book was given to me as a gift from a friend who knows where I stand regarding religion in general. I don't think he was trying to convert me. I had never heard of it before, but I read it quickly and enjoyed it. At times, GOD IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOU reads like satire. You can imagine a cartoon-like, angry, jealous god, riding around on the Ark of the Covenant, smiting this way and that. Hell, the Old Testament is nothing but pages and pages of the so-called "Chosen People" getting chance after chance from god, witnessing all these miraculous events, getting warning after warning from prophets on how and why they should follow the laws of Moses AND THEY NEVER DO! You can't even make THEM true believers.
The New Testament is made up of a small, select group of the entourage of Jesus, who all tended to see miracles and spirits when no one else was around. I didn't realize how small this group actually was and the fact it seems like half the writings and letters were penned from inside Roman prisons. Jesus was the ultimate, peace-sign throwing hippie. You can clearly see his influence on the 1960's. Some nice naive messages. He's like the Graham Nash of 2,000 years ago. Wonder if he was loaded up on coke too. Too bad the Republicans who claim to love him seemed to miss what those messages actually were.
The Book of Revelation was hysterical. The guy who wrote it was a hermit living by himself in a cave on an island. He heard the Romans had destroyed the temple in Jeruselum and lost his shit, claimed he saw an angel (again...no one else was around) and wrote this wacked-out stuff. Hard to believe a council of men years later actually approved putting it in the final Bible collection. Crazy. I mean, Jesus riding out of the sky on a big white horse, brandishing a sword. Seven headed dragons chasing women around and trying to eat their babies...It was like a poorly written LORD OF THE RINGS. Are people really scared of this?
Wow! One can certainly tell the stories in the Bible were just about all written by men. Women are almost never positive characters: they're prostitutes, liars, cheats and out to ruin anyone who comes in contact with them. Trying to find a positive woman character in these books is like the proverbial needle in the haystack. To make a Biblical film, you would need Hollywood's most sexist, chauvinistic, casting-couch director. Sex, in general, seems to be a frightening concept for these guys. Be afraid of the vagina. Be very afraid.
Like many non-believers, I'd like to be aware of what's actually in the Bible if the need comes and I'm challenged at Thanksgiving. It's never a good idea to argue from the side of ignorance. There are some fun stories in the Bible, but...c'mon people! If you want to know the content of the Bible and have some fun reading it, this book is for you. ...more

Sep 04, 2013 Shawn Fields rated it it was amazing

Religion is a fascinating topic, and I am so enthralled with it that I went out and earned myself of Master's Degree in religious studies. One of the most interesting things to study is what exactly people choose to believe, or not believe, in the face of evidence or lack thereof. I personally have a hard time identifying with hardline fundamentalists. I have found my soulmate in Mark Russell. Russell set out to create a modern, humorous, summary of the Bible. The result is self-described as irr Religion is a fascinating topic, and I am so enthralled with it that I went out and earned myself of Master's Degree in religious studies. One of the most interesting things to study is what exactly people choose to believe, or not believe, in the face of evidence or lack thereof. I personally have a hard time identifying with hardline fundamentalists. I have found my soulmate in Mark Russell. Russell set out to create a modern, humorous, summary of the Bible. The result is self-described as irreverent. You can take the Bible seriously, but not take every single line seriously. If you are okay with this statement you will probably enjoy the book. If you are a literalist, you will find this book to be sacrilegious. I like to laugh, but rarely find a book that makes me laugh out loud. I guffawed like a maniac throughout my read of this book. Here are some of the amazing lines:

The last speech of Moses: "If you do these things and observe all the other laws I've given you, then God will lift you above all other nations. If you don't, then God will send a hairy foreigner to steal your girlfriend. If you have trouble remembering all these laws, then as a rule of thumb, treat each other well and you should be okay. And if God wants you to do something, don't ask too many questions, just do it, even if it's kind of weird."

"Samson fought the Philistines, but not really as a freedom fighter. He was more like a seventeen-year-old in a letterman's jacket, challenging the Philistines to a fight in the parking lot of a Burger King."

"Do you obey all the commandments?" Jesus asked. "You don't kill people or cheat on your wife do you?"
"No, I obey all the commandments," he assured Jesus.
"That's great, you're halfway there!" Jesus said, clapping him on the back. "Now all you need to do is sell everything and come follow me!"
"Everything? I don't know, Jesus. I mean, my portfolio is really blowing up. I don't have a lot of liquidity right now... Hey, is that a two-headed goat?" When Jesus turned to look, the rich man beat it out of there.

The above quotes are pretty PG compared with the rest of the book, which reads more like a Comedy Central Roast. Whether you are reading this for spiritual enlightenment, or just for comedy (lewd, crude, but hilarious comedy), it is well worth your time. God Is Disappointed In You was just published by Top Shelf Productions.

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May 01, 2016 Nikmaack rated it it was ok

I am not even slightly religious, and honestly, I think Christianity is stupid. So a book that summarizes the bible, so I could read it without reading it, seemed interesting. Cut out all the boring bits and the old timey language and get to the point.

Even with hacking out all of that? It's still pretty boring. Especially the new testament. Good lord, it is dull. At least the old testament has stories. The new testament is just a bunch of blather.

This book is a bit uneven. Sometimes it's irrev

Even with hacking out all of that? It's still pretty boring. Especially the new testament. Good lord, it is dull. At least the old testament has stories. The new testament is just a bunch of blather.

This book is a bit uneven. Sometimes it's irreverent and mocking. Other times it seems to take the whole matter quite seriously. Who is this written for, really? In an afterword, the author talks about how the text has actually been used in bible studies. Which I find shocking. There are parts that seem to openly mock religion. But other parts are fawning.

And then it sort of struck me... The author is kind of hard on the old testament, and gives the new testament a bit of a pass. I didn't go into this bible completely blind: there are some crazy bible passages out there I'm aware of. This book seems to gloss over the crazier things Jesus said. Where's the bit about kids hating their parents and all that? In this text, Christ is all about love. Those passages where he's a rebel leader calling for war are suspiciously absent.

Maybe it's okay to mock the old testament, but mocking Jesus will still get you murdered.

The cartoons are mostly unfunny and add nothing. They're very much like those New Yorker cartoons where you read them and think, someone rich is wryly chuckling over this because they don't know what funny is.

I guess this book does its job. I just don't care. The bible is boring, even when written as a summary. To me, this book reads very much like a satire where the author has mixed feelings about the subject. "I want to mock it, but I don't want to be disrespectful." And so the result is a watery soup, half cooked, and needs more spice.

Or maybe I'm just not the intended audience, because I think the bible is stupid.

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Nov 09, 2014 Erik rated it really liked it

I considered giving this book 3 stars because of distracting typos early in the book (does anyone proofread anymore?) and the odd 2-column bible-esque layout, but those don't count as content so I changed to 4 stars.

Mark Russell did what I assume is an awesome job retelling the stories/fables/fairytales/whatevers in the bible. I have been surrounded by bible thumpers most of my life and even went to a church or two when I was too young to say no, but in all my years of breathing I have had no c

Let's just put this out there (if you're sensitive about religion, don't read any more because I'm about to utilize my 1st amendment rights): I'm cool with people practicing whatever religion they want to practice, and if Christians want to thump on bibles and call them "true" that's their bidness...but as far as I'm concerned, after reading this book, the bible has a lot of stuff in it that is IMO pure, undiluted hooey.

Having said all that, there is a lot of awesome wisdom in the New Testament section where Christ shows up, wisdom that almost none of the bible thumpers seem to embrace. Show of hands: how many of you thought the bible started with Genesis and then immediately afterward told the Jesus story? Yeah, me too. Nope, he doesn't pop up until way far into the book. The earlier parts are circumcisions, Moses laying down gaggles of laws, wars, more circumcisions, incest, murders, temples, more wars, an ark with a stool for god to sit on, mysogyny, the Torah, etc. It's like a bunch of historical and religious essays collected into one volume. How does anyone know where to start?

Anyway, I really liked this book and I can't imagine ever cracking open an actual bible after reading it. It feels like Russell just retold what's in the bible, no agendas. I'll never know for sure, but that's okay.

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May 01, 2017 Gavin rated it it was amazing

I bought this on a whim and I'm glad I did as Mark Russell's abridged journey through the books of the bible turned out to be highly entertaining and engaging.

Russell's aim was to stay true to the content of the bible while breaking the various books down to their essential message and telling it in a way that would be accessible to modern readers. Did he manage that? As far as accuracy goes I've no idea as I've never had the patience to suffer through the archaic language of the actual bible! What he did succeed in was giving a summary of the various books in the bible and telling it all in a very engaging and entertaining way. The humor was definitely a little bit irreverent but it was also hilarious. I've not laughed so hard while listening to a book for years!

It was great to learn a bit more about the stories in the bible and to be entertained at the same time. All in all I have to say I really loved this one and would recommend it to anyone who always wanted to read the bible, but never has because of its giant size and archaic language, and who is not likely to be offended by the irreverent style of humor employed by Russell.

Rating: 5 stars.

Audio Note: James Urbaniak gave a fantastic performance. He really got the tone of the story.

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Apr 25, 2017 Lucie rated it really liked it

So I don't consider myself to have a good level of comprehension of the bible beyond some vaguely recallable notions of the school assemblies of yore... having read (well, listened to) this book though I finally feel like I have a decent overview of the content, woohoo! GIDIY really condenses the books of the bible into easy to understand (often blunt and mockingly funny) basic points. I can imagine there are Christians out there who would hate this - then again I think there will be some who ca So I don't consider myself to have a good level of comprehension of the bible beyond some vaguely recallable notions of the school assemblies of yore... having read (well, listened to) this book though I finally feel like I have a decent overview of the content, woohoo! GIDIY really condenses the books of the bible into easy to understand (often blunt and mockingly funny) basic points. I can imagine there are Christians out there who would hate this - then again I think there will be some who can appreciate the humour and see how useful it is in deciphering the old twirly-blah language of the old St. James' version (the author even mentions that some vicars have asked to reference GIDIY in their sermons!). It is a lot of information to take in at once - and it is pretty fast flowing and relentless, so you probably need to dip in and out or it is easy to lose the thread. Nonetheless, I feel much better informed now. The downside of the audiobook is that you don't get the cartoon illustrations by Shannon Wheeler referred to by the author - I can imagine these would add a lot to the experience (isn't the cover great?) and might see about getting the ebook. :) ...more

Jun 16, 2015 J.I. rated it really liked it

Take every single book of the bible, then condense it down to 3-15 paragraphs, mostly snarky, and occasionally illustrated with a New Yorker Cartoon. This is that book. And the first two thirds are absolutely hilarious. Why only the first two thirds? Because the old testament of the bible is crazy. There are so many obscene, bizarre, horrific and socially despicable things that were done (and approved of then), that to rephrase it is shockingly hilarious. The new testament, however, is more dull Take every single book of the bible, then condense it down to 3-15 paragraphs, mostly snarky, and occasionally illustrated with a New Yorker Cartoon. This is that book. And the first two thirds are absolutely hilarious. Why only the first two thirds? Because the old testament of the bible is crazy. There are so many obscene, bizarre, horrific and socially despicable things that were done (and approved of then), that to rephrase it is shockingly hilarious. The new testament, however, is more dull. There are less surprises and miracle, mostly notes and letters. We get the story of Jesus told four times in a row, and while Russell does a great job varying things, you can tell he struggles. It is just a less crazy part of the bible, with less coherent "plot" structures, and as a result, it's still funny, it's still sharp and thoughtful, but it's a low boil.

Oh well, it's an intensely fun book and a great read.

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Sep 01, 2013 Jenny rated it really liked it

God may be disappointed, but I wasn't.

God is Disappointed in You by Mark Russell is anything but disappointing. That goofy guy who used to sit behind a star-spangled baby grand and sing about ridiculous politicians has now taken on the Bible. This retelling is accurate, but irreverent. Ironies, inconsistencies, and Pharisees abound. And it turns out, straight from Mary's mouth, that Jesus' middle name DOES start with an H. Who knew?

God is Disappointed in You would be a good to use with a teenage

God may be disappointed, but I wasn't.

God is Disappointed in You would be a good to use with a teenager who was reluctant to brush up on his Bible stories, as a supplement to a Bible as Literature class, or for not-so-religious adults to read and have a good laugh. Anyone who enjoyed R. Crumb's The Book of Genesis, would like this as well.

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I wasn't really sure what I was getting into with this book, but the sample I heard was hilarious. So is the rest of the book. It is irreverent and 4 letter words abound, so if that's not your thing then maybe skip this one.

Russell does point out in the preface that his aim is to neither mock nor endorse the Bible so this isn't a Bible bashing book. Think of it as an MA rated extremely condensed version of the Message.

Also if you read this looking for biblical accuracy you are going to have qu

Russell does point out in the preface that his aim is to neither mock nor endorse the Bible so this isn't a Bible bashing book. Think of it as an MA rated extremely condensed version of the Message.

Also if you read this looking for biblical accuracy you are going to have quite a few "well actually..." moments. But it's a humor book, folks! I think anyone with a background in Bible and a sense of humor will love this book.

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Mark Russell is the author of God Is Disappointed in You and Apocrypha Now. He also writes the comic book series Prez and The Flintstones for DC Comics. He lives and works in Portland, Oregon.

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